December 2, 2010

Perth : Yet Another Abandoned Old Peoples Joint / Running for Council


Speaking of abandoned old people's homes, I'm seriously contemplating running for Council. Perth City Council, councillor. PCC. I mean, fucking come on, two of the current councillors are Real Estate agents. I've dealt with one of the other councillors before. The conversation went  "Mr Councillor, I have noticed a lack of motorcycle car bays in the city. Perhaps, in the spirit of helping to keep the city free of cars and the associated congestion and pollution, and to assist the PCC in its directive of making the CBD a more pedestrian friendly area, you would consider putting in a few more motorcycle/scooter bays?" Mr Councillor : "fuck you". There's a couple of other old, old, old councillors. Combined age, about a million. Too old. Time to move on, GPBB's (Grand Parents of Baby Boomers). There's an Asian councillor chick, and a young-ish [Glen Quagmire] all-riiiight  [/ Glenn Quagmire] whitey lady that claimed $594 for hair expenses, in a single month. Fair enough. Those two birds should probably be runnin' tings. But of course, when I get there, with the help of my cronies, we run ting's, tings nuh run we...

Anyway, it's pretty simple. I need about 2,500 votes to get into office. I can count on the Asian's, I got mad yellow fever. Hipsters are down. Gay's got my back. Homeless people, they're in. Artists, inner city DINK's, skateboarders, people who want more small bars, more art, less regulations, zero council fees, free money for everyone, subsidised Hainanese Chicken Rice, free Dim Sum once a month, no helmets required for bicycle riders, Korean Taco trucks, Mos Burger, and at least one Timezone video games arcade, required, by law, in each mall. Unpainted concrete brutalist buildings will be encouraged. Statue of Iwan Iwanoff. Light rail free transport system. Free beer. Free, as in "free beer". An appropriate Perth City Council mascot will be created, probably a rat or penguin. Christmas pagent, gone. City to Surf, gone. 2,500 votes to change this city, forever.

Can you count, suckers?  I say the future of Perth City Council is ours, if you can count. We'll have the Saracens sitting next to the Jones Street Boys. We'll have the Moon Runners, right by the Van Courtland Rangers. Nobody will be wasting nobody. That...is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be. Can you dig it? Can. You. Dig. It? CAN. YOU. DIG. IT.

In the meantime, please enjoy photos of yet another of Perth's abandoned old age homes/hospitals.

..and follow the twitter, I want a thousand followers by tomorrow. Current total, 32.


30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Make it a dolphin mascot and I'll stay in Perth and be your campaign bitch.


Nice tour too! Major lol's for 'PR and Nursing Home People'.

Anonymous said...

I bet that first comment was made by MD :P

Anonymous said...

Its amazing what people can apply themselves to do if they try, photo 6 is a good example.

N. said...

I'm guessing MD was the first comment as well. He would be a good cronie to have on board for anyone with political aspirations....!

N. said...

PS, MD, Dolphin was one of my top choices.

Kamu said...

Hey Nate, where was this? Tried doing a google search for Mt. Lawley nursing home but didn't find too much..

N. said...

Yo Kamu, it was at the corner of Wasley and Norfolk. Maybe North Perth? Here's a link, it's the one with the orange roof.

http://bit.ly/dK64D2

Kamu said...

http://www.nearmap.com/?ll=-31.931552,115.862207&z=20&t=h&nmd=20101023

Very much former..

I need some friends in demolition....

Anonymous said...

You've got my vote - only I'm just over the Newcastle St border in Vincent :(

N. said...

Thanks! It's the thought that counts!

Anonymous said...

is this place still standing?

N. said...

Demolished. Follow on Twitter.

Anonymous said...

Dont Old people need homes! Id vote for you for the chicken rice...

N. said...

WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE OLD PEOPLE!

justanothertragedy said...

Is there another way to follow you other than Twitter? I don't use that crap :/

N. said...

Other than stalking me in real life, no. Either Twitter (which is probably just a phase, follow while it lasts), or just use your Blogger dashboard to follow this blog.

Scott Free said...

Hi Nate.
My name Is Scott and I am a fashion/commercial photographer seeking to touch base with you in order to apply your expertise in the field of urbex to a fashion shoot project I have in the works. These abandoned structures and urban decay has captured my imagination, but i'd love to have your experience and help with sourcing suitable venues to use in the series.

scott@silverbulletphotography.com.au

hope to hear from you soon!!

Scott Free said...

Hi Nate,

My name is scott and I am a commercial/fashion photographer who'd like to get in touch with you as i'd like to use your expertise in the area of urbex as i am currently planning to use it in the context of a fashion shoot scheduled roughly for late january.

Scott@silverbulletphotography.com.au
please get in touch as any information you can help me out with would be amazing. cheers!!!

N. said...

Hi Scott, I provide information on these sites free, for non commercial use. For commercial purposes, I would charge $1000 for information on any of these sites. I'm sure you understand, being a commercial photographer you would be used to location scouting fees. This could make your career explode, don't delay. I accept all popular credit cards, cash, or gift vouchers for Welcome Inn Dim Sum restaurant.

crave said...

that means i'd have to move back somewhere in tha suburb of perth... or nearby, to vote for you...

oops did i say suburb... i meant, perth city.

regards,
gaysian

Claude Mono said...

I am in Ireland on holiday and thanks to 6000Times have a new interest in abandoned mansions check out "www.abandonedireland.com" and especilly be with me in 3D at "http://www.abandonedireland.com/Ardtully_vr1_2.html" - Claude

N. said...

Woah! Those 3D pics are impressive! I wonder how they are made? It's giving me some ideas. Enjoy your holiday Claude, looks like you're hitting the right kind of tourist attractions! Take lots of photos, and thanks for the comment.

Irish said...

Seriously though, and I know you said in another thread you wouldn't do it, but how does someone go about being elected? 2 of them are real estate agents? WTF?? Do you have to be a resident of Perth City? Do 2500 people even LIVE in Perth City?

Anonymous said...

hey everyone..im an interior architecture student in Perth .and i am very interested in using this building as my site for my thesis ths year...does anyone have an idea on how i may excess this site and who to speak to in order to get the plans or drawings for it.

cheers

N. said...

Anon, this building has been completely demolished. It no longer exists.

Dazed and Amused said...

You are a genius... "PUBLIC RELATIONS CAN BE FUN AND EASY. Especially for Nursing Home People", this book is probably why the business that resided here is no longer in operation! It's like 'How to Relate FOR DUMMIES'!

Anonymous said...

how do i vote for you i am down with skating no bike helmets beer and pretty much everything else you said... i was once seriously fucked off by the state perth is in but am now just beaten into a state of apathy. you make me want to care again, how do we do this?!

N. said...

You can't vote for me. There is no point, nothing will change, except to get worse. Sorry to break the news to you.

Get out. Now.

Madii said...

Hey Nate,
I have a keen interest in abandoned buildings but as we live in Perth, and Perth loves to tear down buildings not being used, there are not many left. If you could bring me on your expeditions to these amazing places or just provide me with a list of places to explore, I would forever be in your debt. You can either contact me by facebook (http://www.facebook.com/madiijkae) or Tumblr (http://surrenderyourdreamstothewind.tumblr.com/)
Thank you ! ~ Madii

N. said...

Hi Madii, unfortunately I am about to leave Perth for a while. I should be back in 2014. Good luck in searching out the abandoned places!
Nate.

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