Perth : McShit

"The population density for JUST the CBD/central city area of Perth... is lower than that of the entire metropolitan suburban area of Los Angeles, California."

What follows is an "only in Perth" story of ineptitude and face-palmery. First, the background story. On the corner of Beaufort Street and Parry Street's in Perth City, lies a vacant block. It's been vacant for many years. Without doubt, it is one of the prime CBD fringe blocks. Walking distance to pretty much every amenity, it would be, without exaggeration, one of the most convenient places on earth to live. Free transport to your door. Supermarket across the road. (Coles, as featured in the very first post ever made here). The Weld Square park is across the road. Heart of Northbridge, a two minute walk. CBD, four minute walk. TAFE, Art Gallery, State Library, Museum, and the Good Fortune Roast Duck House, all nearby. Multi-storey residential developments popping up all around this block. Really, it's close to faultless. So what happened?

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Perth : Yet Another Abandoned Old Peoples Joint / Running for Council

Speaking of abandoned old people's homes, I'm seriously contemplating running for Council. Perth City Council, councillor. PCC. I mean, fucking come on, two of the current councillors are Real Estate agents. I've dealt with one of the other councillors before. The conversation went  "Mr Councillor, I have noticed a lack of motorcycle car bays in the city. Perhaps, in the spirit of helping to keep the city free of cars and the associated congestion and pollution, and to assist the PCC in its directive of making the CBD a more pedestrian friendly area, you would consider putting in a few more motorcycle/scooter bays?" Mr Councillor : "fuck you". There's a couple of other old, old, old councillors. Combined age, about a million. Too old. Time to move on, GPBB's (Grand Parents of Baby Boomers). There's an Asian councillor chick, and a young-ish [Glen Quagmire] all-riiiight  [/ Glenn Quagmire] whitey lady that claimed $594 for hair expenses, in a single month. Fair enough. Those two birds should probably be runnin' tings. But of course, when I get there, with the help of my cronies, we run ting's, tings nuh run we...

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Northbridge : Is Perth's Best Suburb Dead Already?

Say goodbye to Northbridge. Well, the Northbridge as you know it. If you think Northbridge is scary in 2010 (it isn't), fast forward to 2015, just five years from now. There are now plenty of new restaurants - The Sizzler has opened up in the disused DV8 nightclub, the Krispy Kreme Mega-plex is finally up and running. Wok-In-A-Box is in the same location that Billy Lee's Chinese Restaurant formerly occupied -  the increased rents in Chinatown forced a move out to the burbs (north of Walcott St). Finally, the Butcher Shop, one of the first William St tennants in the new revival of Perth's best street, called it a day. That spot is now Witchery for Men, right next door to Perth's first Baby Giordano...

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Perth - Winter, Heritage, Nightclubs, Skateboarders, Graffiti Writers, and Asians.

Perth is currently in an eternal winter. Now I know what English summers feel like. Terrible. The leaves on that tree may never grow back.

Should it be heritage listed? No, not the Perth Entertainment Centre. The sea container combined with the Today Tonight billboard. The PEC has to go, sooner or later. I like the PEC. However, the huge shed sits on the prime real-estate of the soon-to-be Northbridge Link project (soon-to-be as in probably never). Personally, I believe the PEC has huge cultural significance. Twenty years ago today, it was the spot where I got angry at a movie for the first time, watching Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing. Even then, the PEC's Lumiere cinema seemed like a run-down cinema. But it will be a sad day when the most perfect commentary of all - "FEDUP" written below the Today Tonight billboard, finally disappears. Thanks FDP crew, for providing an intelligent piece of public art, at no cost to the rate-payer.

Since its been raining, a lot, its time to reminisce about the Perth of old. Seems like a bit of a cop-out, but fuck it, I haven't taken many photos lately.

The Underground was the best night club I ever went to in Perth. Three levels, a run-down federation building, and a train carriage. Drink specials, free entry. These days, its a back-packers hostel.

Many people don't know that Tony Hawk, professional skateboarder, would frequent Karrinyup shopping centre. Yes, THE Karrinyup Shopping Centre. Yes, that really is Tony Hawk. This was shot around 87 or 88. Yes, it was a really shitty camera.

The Firm was a great establishment. Now its the Old Melbourne Hotel. Back then, it was the OLD Melbourne Hotel. The nightclub was upstairs, and the floor would genuinely bounce. Structurally, that place was a nightmare back then. People would try and make the floor collapse. Fortunately, everybody was too drunk/high to really care. Like The Underground, it was a very popular place.

Even in Osborne Park, skateboarding was huge. This was taken around 1990, at the rear of a surf store that no longer exists, on Scarborough Beach Road. Chris Miller, and Natas Kaupus, are in this photo, somewhere!

These days, the Perth City Council feels a need to inject "vibrancy" into the CBD. The solution? Spend tens of thousands of dollars on a jazz band and a tent in Forrest Place. Back in the early 90's, there was a cheaper, easier, more effective solution - just allow visiting professional skateboarder John Cardiel, and a few locals, to run riot.

Is there a point to all this? Maybe. Skateboarders, Graffiti writers, and of course Asians, are the signs of future vibrancy. All three cultures utlilise sections of the CBD for their own enjoyment long before the masses cotton on. Long before there were bars in Howard Lane, there were skateboarders and Graffiti Writers in Howard Lane. Head into the CBD on any weeknight, and observe - Asians. You get the point.

These cultures are the future of our city, and I for one, like that future. If you don't know, now you know.